You thought you hit the absolute jackpot. You thought you found the ultimate cool chick who is completely low maintenance and happy to just eat cheap takeout and watch movies on your busted couch. Well, the free trial period is officially over. I was looking through my beautiful clothes today and it suddenly hit me that I'm way out of your league. And I don't just mean in looks, although obviously I am. I mean in worth. Maintaining this gorgeous dark aesthetic takes a lot of effort and a whole lot of cash. It is actually insulting that you haven't offered to pay for my upkeep yet. If you want the privilege of having a beautiful girl on your arm, you've got to fund the lifestyle that comes with her. I'm not a cheap date you can keep on standby while you hoard your paychecks. You want my attention? You're going to start tributing me. I want you to clear out my cart and drain your accounts just to make me smile. You are nothing but a human ATM to me now. If you don't start spending on me right this exact second, we're done. I'll pack my bags and find a real man who knows how to worship at my financial altar. Kneel, obey, and pay. Your money looks better in my bank account anyway so send it all right now.
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