They cancelled all of the fireworks shows, but no worries, I've got plenty of pops to help us celebrate. Watch my big butt cheeks jiggle and bounce in star spangled leggings while I rip massive, smelly, popping farts over and over again. Sniff ass like a true patriot and let me rip massive farts right over you as I count you down with farts to an explosion in your hand. Celebrate the Fourth like you should, sniffing the farts from my big butt.
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