The shrinking virus

I am a HR manager having a Teams catch up with my department following the shrinking virus. The virus only effects men, and one male employee has been allowed back to work, due to inclusivity/diversity rules, at only 2 inches tall.

 I welcome them asking a few how they’re doing, I then ask about his weeks probation to see how everything went. They confirm he’s a well liked and good worker, but there are a few issues. They go into detail. All still light-hearted and happy. He’s nearly been trodden on too many times to count! Sat on once! Finally, nearly eaten once! I try to keep it professional but do find it slightly amusing. It's so hard to keep track of him. I promise to meet him immediately and arrange another online meeting straight after.

He’s on my desk and I am looking down at him. He's so cute! There’s been no complaints about his work and the girls in the office really like him. However I ask him to explain the girls concerns. He must go move on the floor as part of his job and run the gauntlet of the high heels coming very close. I give him some advice to ask one of the girls to take you where you want to go! Next about being sat on! He was waiting on a desk for a quick meeting, and she accidentally knocked him onto her chair. Last thing a huge ass was coming down on top of him. She only realised after a few minutes! Which I find quite funny but try not to show it. Then finally nearly eaten! At lunch with one of the girls, she was eating yoghurt and spilt some on him! Suddenly finding himself on her finger and lowered into her mouth! Thankfully she realised before, well you know, which I find even funnier! This is going to cause you so much work. Reports, meetings with management etc. However, a tiny thought blossoming. Nearly eaten? Hmm? Could I! A few little licks of my mouth. I then, regretfully explain, this really hasn’t worked out has it as he’s lifted very close to my face. Maybe I have a better solution. A new challenge. Mouth open wide and lowered in. Little gulp and he’s on his way! Little giggle – finger tracking him down to your belly. Sorry sweetie!

 BACK TO THE MEETING with the girls, saying a few hellos again. I explain the meeting went well, very productive however he’s no longer an employee of the company all problems solved. until one of them asks if he was fired. Then reluctantly explain what happened, about eating him, which they all find funny!! It was for the best! Suddenly looking down, OMG do you hear that, standing up patting your belly! ‘A quiet help me, help me’ sound effects and continual belly noises’ Again laughing along. I calm everyone down and the meeting moves on to other matters; the girls work night out! I suddenly apologise patting your stomach – ‘that’s digestion right there! Basically, all of us uncaring he’s now digesting in my stomach!